The Difference Between Niceness and Kindness by Brother Curtis Hansen

         This message will be a little different this morning. Some messages from the pulpit are for instruction, correction, or even reproof. Today's message is something you could apply in your every day world. We are going to explore the difference between niceness and kindness. Now, in many businesses, employees are evaluated on the basis of strengths and weakness. In focusing on those two things, they lose their focus on qualities like characteristics and behavior. Your character may not align with what is your perceived strength but rather your weakness. Our walk with God is not just limited to binary, good or bad, choices. Many facets of our walk are colored with various shades of gray.

        There's a difference between kindness and niceness. The world defines kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. The definition of niceness is the quality of being nice; pleasantness. Now, scripture promotes kindness to the reader. Let's look at some of the characteristics between the two. Niceness is passive. Kindness is bold and brings clarity. Always keep in mind that you may be the best chance for someone to see Jesus. Kindness speaks truth in love. Nice is manipulative, self serving, shallow, and flowery. Kindness promotes empathy. Kindness leads one to accountability. The challenge this coming week to you is really look and evaluate yourself. Look at yourself and see which characteristic do you match up with more.

        Niceness is very superficial and easy to do. It goes out of the way to keep your ego puffed up. Niceness has the end in mind of I get something out of it. Kindness is that the other gets something out of it. Our culture promotes and elevates niceness. Scripture promotes kindness. When you are looking for the good in people, it is really searching for their strengths.

        We will be reading in Romans chapter 14 starting with verse 12. In this chapter, Paul is addressing the disagreements between believers.

        12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

         You and I are all accountable in the end. God is currently working on you and you should be accountable to God, Niceness is thinking on how to make people like you. Kindness is how to hold yourself accountable daily, and uphold the truth to better your character. We will answer to God for what we are a steward over in our life. Niceness avoids conflict while kindness promotes peace.

        13 Let us therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

        Judge each other by not causing your brother to stumble in their walk. The church is to build, encourage, and lift up one another. It's function isn't to police itself over legalism. 

        14 I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean.

        This verse is going beyond dietary. God made everything clean in surpassing the old law with Jesus' death and resurrection. This doesn't mean the law is done away for us in 2025. No, the law was established as a structure for godly behavior and should be followed still today. Without out the law, there's anarchy. Every form of bad thinking or doctrine can be promoted to confused flocks of believers. As someone recently commented about battling your flesh nature, if you can't cast out a sin, discipline it.

        15 But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, ofr whom Christ died.

        This verse talks about empathy and service. Niceness avoids tough issues because it is avoiding any form of conflict. Sometimes things will work itself out in life. Kindness considers others weakness and stand up for them. It is your job as a believer to grow your faith. Merely keeping the peace is stationary and flat. You are maintaining a status because you have grown comfortable. That comfort usually converts your faith into something stagnant. God holds you to a standard and it's upon you and I to meet the standard.

        If you can't establish and promote structure within your own house, you will have difficulty doing likewise in church. The real work on your walk begins at home. You are tasked to ask, seek, knock and God will provide for you. You and not your pastor. 

        My second point is that peace is not the absence of conflict it is the presence of love, truth, and building up one another.

        My third point is that the kingdom of God is more than appearance.

        16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of:

        Grace is kindness that shows the truth and changes you. It's grace that turns Peter to Cephas, Saul to Paul.

        17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peacw, and joy in the Holy Ghost.

        The kingdom we are striving to enter is not here. It isn't on earth. It isn't about controlling every aspect of your world and your church services. You are to pursue personal growth with peace and joy in the Holy Ghost.

        18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men.

        19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.

        Go after the things which will bring you reward in heaven. Pursue things that are holy, profitable, and good.

        20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offense.

        This scripture is again talking to the church and its members. Niceness is looking agreeable, polite, and well mannered. Kindness is peace, joy, and knowing that your most basic needs are taken care of in life. Kindness is correction with a purpose.

        Jesus wasn't always nice in rebuking Pharisees or the clearing of the temple. He was always kind. Why? It would always lift up God to others, Kindness protects the conscious of others.

        21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak.

        We are looking beyond the basic sins of the flesh and into iniquity.

        22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.

        23 And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

        Keep your mouth quiet regarding those around you in the church. No one wants your ill informed and highly emotional opinion. Happy is he if he doesn't condemn himself. Everyone has all their own individual walks and not force others to follow suit. Their paths are probably much different than yours. Niceness will say, do whatever because it's fine. Kindness asks will this thing hurt their walk.

        There's a difference between niceness and kindness. God wants you to be kind to all people.